Monthly Archives: October 2015

Coffee Filters

Coffee Filters

By Jerry Leibowitz

OK where did she put those coffee filters? I know I just bought a bag of 200 Mellita coffee filters last week. That should last us for months but they seem to be gone. She must’ve known that I would wake up and she would have gone to work and I would want to make a pot of coffee so I could start my writing. I can’t write without first having a cup of Joe. So why would she move the coffee filters?

I doubt it could be revenge for my being gone for a few days. She doesn’t have a vengeful bone in her body. Well at least not when it comes to small things and this is pretty small. But what was she thinking? I should just call her but she is probably in a meeting and imagine being called out of a meeting to take your husband’s call and he wants to know where you put the coffee filters. Maybe it would look bad for her to leave such an important meeting. “Is everything OK”, she would be asked and what would she say in response? Yea everyone at work would have a big laugh at my expense.

No they must be here somewhere. Knowing Jen she was probably just cleaning up and did not like where we kept them. But we did keep them there for years behind the glass dishes. Why change all of the sudden? Shouldn’t I have gotten some notice? Isn’t this a joint decision?  They must be here. Maybe I should just pull out every drawer until I find them and just leave it that way until she gets home and then say “you shouldn’t have moved the coffee filters without telling me.” Then she would apologize. Well maybe not. Maybe she would say that I just should have called her and she would tell me where she moved them. No they must be here somewhere. But where?

I have always considered the kitchen to be her domain so if she didn’t like where they were she could have just told me, “I’m moving the coffee filters.” I would have told her that I like them where they are so close to the coffee maker but if that’s what she wanted that was OK with me. I’m a pretty accommodating guy in that way. I have also learned to be careful about what I say to her about how she cleans up the kitchen. Nothing good could come from me saying…”I don’t like where you put the coffee filters.” I imagine the response would be something like “OK you can clean the kitchen from now on. It’s gotta be twice a day and spotless just like I do it. Then you can put the filters wherever you want.” No that would not serve me well at all.

Maybe she threw them away by accident. It is true that accidents can happen and maybe she had leftovers in her left hand and the coffee filters in her right hand and tossed the wrong thing out. Such a scatter brain sometimes. “Oh shit,” she would have said even though she very rarely curses. She doesn’t like to waste money, who does? So maybe she cursed under her breath. She would have meant to tell me that I had to go to the store and get new coffee filters which would not have made me happy but you know accidents happen. I would have been OK with that. But last night she didn’t say anything, although she did seem glad to see me, what with her not having seen me for a few days. She didn’t seem to be hiding anything on purpose. Looking back to last night I think I would have been able to tell if she had that “just wait till he tries making coffee tomorrow morning,” look. But why would she be angry with me? I was only gone for a few days and it was to go to a writing workshop, which was pretty important. She would have had to be pretty angry to move the coffee filters over that and that is very unlike her. No they must be here somewhere. I’m going to call her.

OK she’s not answering. I mean its one thing to move the coffee filters and its another to be all secretive about it. I really don’t know what game she is playing but we’ll get to the bottom of this when she gets home. I mean if she’s angry about something we should talk about it. If she threw them away, well I can forgive that but at least she should have left me a note or something. That’s it! Maybe there’s a note. But where would she put it. It’s not on the dining room table where she sometimes leaves her notes or her shopping list. There’s not even a shopping list because if there was one I would look to see if coffee filters was on it and then I would know that something happened to the coffee filters and that I had to buy more. But no note…anywhere. What cruel game is she playing? No they must be here somewhere.

Oh here they are. Yea I forgot I was looking for that lemon squeezer on Friday and it was behind the filters. I guess I left them out. Here they are right in front of my nose. She must have left them there all weekend against her better judgment just so I could find them. She is so sweet that way. My bad. It goes to show that I shouldn’t try to do anything important like make coffee until I’ve had that first cup of coffee.